Why I only know how to get real
You say oversharing, I say group therapy
Processing out loud
You know how some people need to process things in private? How they have to step out of their relationships, and sometimes even society, to fully digest whatever may have passed? Yeah, that’s not me...
I mean, I try to take a minute. And I have definitely been pausing more (especially, since I started attending Al-Anon. Did you know I go to Al-Anon? See? I’m oversharing even while just trying to explain my motivation behind oversharing). But when it comes to keeping things “private,” well, that’s just not something I can nor want to do.
Why tell all
Obviously when things involve another person, I respect their anonymity and keep things between us. But when it’s me just figuring things out for me, I much prefer showing up to the world and being like, “hey I’m still figuring things out!,” than waiting until things are all wrapped up in a tiny neat bow.
Okay, let’s use an example: My parenting. I have ZERO desire to tell you I have anything figured out. Even though I wrote a parenting book, I will scream from the mountain tops that I am no parenting expert. I am simply a mom who likes to do deep dives into self-inquiry and parenting happens to be a crash course in WTF is happening within us.
Sooo, let’s say I yell at one of my kids (yep, even [especially?] yoga teachers lose it on their kids]). I will tell you that. I will do an in-depth IG reel going into what happened and how I messed up.
Do I think you will judge me? Yes, of course, but I find that sharing this very real moment of humanity within parenting is going to be way more beneficial to us both than if I presented some buttoned up presentation of what I think motherhood should look like.
What do you have to do with it?
I find that being real and sharing all sides of my experiences has a two-fold effect. First, in the sharing, I am allowing others to see themselves in my experience and hopefully, to feel less alone. Secondly, in hearing others say “me too!” or “yup” I suddenly grow an even deeper sense of compassion for myself.
Let’s say I was beating myself up for flipping out over my son’s whining. But then I share it with you and you say, “I do it too!” Suddenly my thoughts go from, “I’m such a B-” to “It’s totally normal!!! You’re a parent and kids are annoying!” and before I know it, voila, I am suddenly way more accepting of my foibles and flaws.
Why here and not social media?
Which brings us to this space. Our Let’s Get Real community on Substack. I’m not going to lie, I have a lot of agita about starting this. A) It’s yet another thing I will have to maintain. B) What if you all get sick of me and unsubscribe like immediately? C) There are a LOT of incredible writers on here, how will I stand out?
But when I imagine it is one of you asking me these questions about yourself, then I suddenly very clear answers:
A) Yes, it’s another thing, but you are in complete control over how often you post. Plus, it would be nice to take all that energy that you’ve been giving away over at dopamine-ride social media and pouring it back into here where you get to be creative for creativity sake.
B) Then they are not your people and that’s okay. Not everyone will like you (I can feel my heart rate increasing) and that’s a good thing. It means you’re being authentic to YOU.
C) There’s room for everyone. This universe is an abundant and miraculous place and there will never be another you. Ever.
Virtual versus IRL
The world is not what it once was, but I think there is something particularly amazing about this new phase. Sure, we’re not seeing one another in-person as often, but being able to connect virtually means that we are connected ALL.THE.TIME. Okay, not all the time, because I am trying to set boundaries around my phone usage, but between the hours of 7a PT to 7p PT, I’m here for you!
Plus, our words don’t go to sleep. Your comments, my posts, all of these things will be here for you to access ALL.THE.TIME.
So, comment away! Leave it all out there. Take advantage of this safe and special place that is your own virtual version of group therapy.
And because this is ultimately here for all of YOU, please let me know what you want to talk about. PS my next paid post may or may not be about why I’m mad at the Hulu show Fleishman Gets In Trouble. Or the toxicity of Bounce Back culture. Hard to choose.
Love you all and very excited to start this new journey with you. THANK YOU for creating the space for me to share and process and BE REAL.
xo
S
PS
Before you go, have you pre-ordered my book The Yoga of Parenting???
Let’s get real about why you should order a book months before it’s due to come out: Pre-orders are EVERYTHING in today’s age of publishing. It tells publishers and booksellers that we are sellable writers and sets us up for potential future books (you want me to write more, right? right?).
And if you buy in advance as a big THANK YOU for doing so, you will receive not one, but three bonus gifts, including a flow class, a meditation, and a second whole-a$$ e-book with HUNDREDS of years of collective yoga, parenting, and life wisdom. That’s a lot of supportive tools to add to your kit.
Love you and huge thanks in advance.