Uncle Joe and the housewives
Not another Harrison Butker takedown
The room is filled with women of all ages and shapes doing incredible feats. One woman slams a medicine ball down with a growl. Another pulls ferociously on the SkiErg machine, teeth gritted. Another Cha-cha’s during every break, her smile as bright as the fluorescent lights above us.
There are girls in their teens up to women in their seventies. It’s powerful and motivating to work out in such company. Another magic ingredient to this cauldron of strength and femininity, is the support everyone gives to one another. There is zero sense of competition or comparison. We’re all there to be healthy and to prioritize ourselves, even if just for that forty-five minutes a day.
And then there is Joe.
Joe is incredibly tall. He has a booming voice and leaves puddles of sweat on every machine. He is often the only male in the class and he takes great pride in this fact.
One day, as we all huddle together in a sea of sweat for a celebratory photo for someone’s 100th class, Joe pronounces to the room that his nieces think the class should be called, “Uncle Joe and the housewives.”
Everyone laughs, because it’s funny (“C’mon it’s just a joke!”).
I look around the room at the goddesses I am privileged to move my body alongside. Sure, many chose to be stay at home moms. But there’s also a large number who are juggling a career and kids. And those sweet four who haven’t even graduated high school yet and I want to scream, “NO JOE! WE ARE NOT HOUSEWIVES. WE ARE SO MUCH MORE.”
There is still a deep conditioning in all of us (women included) that women are solely defined by their roles as a wife and a mother. Case in point: the recent disaster that was Harrison Butker’s commencement speech at Benedictine College a few weeks ago.
We ironically watch T.V. shows entitled, “Desperate Housewives” and “The Real Housewives” and laugh about the premises, but what does the term ‘housewife’ even mean:
Cambridge Dictionary: a woman whose work is inside the home, doing the cleaning, cooking, etc., and who usually does not have any other job
Merriam-Webster: a married woman in charge of a household
Okay, cool Merriam-Webster used the term “in charge.” Progress!
Listen, I love a good joke as much as the next housewife, but when I see a room of ferocious women (who are [or were] CEO’s of the world’s biggest tech companies and/or raising multiple kids and/or just surviving high school) cut down and shoved into a proverbial dollhouse, or when I read about an entire graduating class of women being told their most important role will be in the kitchen, it just reminds me that we have a long way to go.
But then I look at the women who are trudging the path of revolution and progress beside me. I see them with gritted teeth and growling. I see one Cha-cha’ing and laughing, and I will gladly march alongside these women for as long as it takes.
Uncle Joe you’re welcome to join us.
Great column, as always, Sarah!