The secret to unconditional love

Hint, hint: it's not about anyone else

I stopped writing because I offended someone.

I stopped dancing because they said my feet were flat.

I stopped singing because they told me I was too loud.

I muffled and muted myself to be more tasteful, acceptable, liked.

But then the rules kept changing and I got confused. 

Was I supposed to be free? Or structured?

Unapologetic? Or demure?

Honest? Or censored?

They kept changing their mind and so I kept changing—morphing into shapes that never felt comfortable. A giant rhombus shoved into a tiny circular hole. 

In my desperation to be liked by everyone I become no one.

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

I would look in the mirror and try on faces.

Am I attractive to them? Do they see me?

But the question should have been: Do I see me???

The loss of youth and beauty petrified me. I realize now that in my clinging to other people’s perceptions, I was losing something much graver than my looks…

I was losing my connection to my true Self. 

Maybe it’s wisdom, or exhaustion, or both, but today I will be loud AND quiet.

I will be beautiful and ugly.

I will be appropriate and cringe.

I will be small and large.

I will be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do, because the only opinion that ever mattered anyway was God’s.

Today, I live for my eyes only.

That is unconditional love.