One year ago today

Everything changed and nothing changed

One year ago today, I woke up startled by the bell of my alarm, just like I do on most days. Except on this day, my first book, The Yoga of Parenting, was being published.

One year ago today, I sat and meditated while the tea kettle brewed, using the sound as anchors as I often do. Except on this day, people I had only admired from afar up to that point were writing sweet notes and social media posts celebrating my book.

One year ago today, my kids woke up grumpy and demanding, crying for waffles and green juice, the same breakfast they always eat. Except on that morning, I could call myself a “published author” for the first time.

One year ago today, I got my latte and thanked the baristas. I sipped it in my car while quietly catching up on my emails. There were no major emergencies or urgent requirements. But on this day, there were a few congratulatory emails from all the people that helped me with the launch. I thanked them, too.

One year ago today, I went down a rabbit hole of people’s stories on Instagram and found myself coveting things from vacations, to bodies, to careers. I often find myself carried out to sea by the wave of comparison culture, but on this day I was carried back to shore by the flood of support from my friends and family.

One year ago today, my husband and I stressed out about who was going to work in what room. Most days are a shuffle for us, since we both work from home and much of my work involves recorded interviews. But on this day, I greedily felt like I should have run of the whole house, since it was my publication day after all. 

One year ago today, my toddler wouldn’t nap even though I was already exhausted by lunchtime, so I threw on cartoons and laid next to him, floating in and out of sleep. My phone continued to ping messages of gratitude and congratulations.

One year ago today, I signed into Zoom for an online celebration party which hundreds of people were invited to and sat for 20 minutes with my niece who was the only one who attended. 

One year ago today, after juggling bath time and bedtime, my husband and I plunked down on the couch to watch the same show we had been watching for weeks. I sat in the same spot I always sit and nestled into the same crook of his chest that I always nestle into.

One year ago today, I read a book before bed that someone wrote in the early dawn of the morning, just like me. A book that launched one Tuesday just like mine. A book that person poured themselves into for years (or decades depending on the project), just like I did.

Except on this day, I was no different than the talented souls who provide the beautiful words I have the privilege to consume every evening–I was officially a published author.

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Before my book’s launch I had numerous published authors (including New York Times Best Selling authors) tell me that nothing really changes in our lives after our books come out into the world. Each time I heard it, I was a little ego-whiplashed,
“Surely MY book would be the tipping point???”

It wasn’t.

Yoga and parenting are pretty niche topics. 

My life hardly changed at all. Today will be almost identical to last year’s June 6th and probably the June 6th to follow.

But I have changed. My outlook on book publishing and the world of writing has shifted tremendously. My friendship circles have expanded exponentially. I had opportunities this year that I could only ever dream of. And I fulfilled a little girl’s dream of being a published author. 

I will write another book one day. I will probably once again naively believe that will be the magic key that changes “everything”, because I don’t think you can find the fortitude to show up for writing hundreds of thousands of words and emailing everyone you’ve ever met or ever hope to meet, and following up again and again and again, without thinking there will be some huge cataclysmic shift on the side. 

And I will write a newsletter to all of you on the year anniversary of my second book-baby telling you that nothing physically has changed, but my heart really has expanded to sizes I never thought possible and people have showed up for me in ways, I never imagined, and though I probably won’t say the world has changed as a result of my book, I will have changed.

Writing a book changed me.

Please consider purchasing a copy of The Yoga of Parenting today to help me celebrate it’s one year bday and take a moment to leave reviews on Amazon and Good Reads. It makes a huge difference and will definitely change my day :)